The New Year has started off pretty upbeat for myself. Most of that feeling was derived from the warmth and blessings that my family and friends were benefiting from. Already, it looked a lot more promising than 2009 could ever have hoped to be. During January of that year I was a mess; drowning in an ocean of relationships, at an all time low in my self-confidence, and trying to restore that confidence through my acting- which had hardly a scrap of confidence left itself.
This month though, boy, it started off on the right foot. Not only am I enrolled in the greatest acting program ever, but I am being actively involved and cast in productions- first Pirates and now Trojan Women. But aside from that, my best friends have been cast consistently as well. While Roger may not always be exuberant when I get a part, I’m always sure to pat him on the back when he was cast in Talk Radio and even two plays; Trojan Women and The Graduate (that was a lil’ tough to swallow!) despite his not even being a theatre major. That’s awesome. And as for Armando, I may think he would have more opportunities in Orlando, but he’s still managed to be in two plays at Gulf Coast. We’re doing what we love and I’m thrilled that us three best friends our able to share these experiences with each other.
I mentioned in the beginning about the relationship mire I was trapped in last year. Well, that was Senior year and a lot of things were happening. I had several girls on “The List” that I couldn’t choose between and who all, ultimately, didn’t even choose me. Yes, I’m speaking out to Danielle and Allie, specifically. Danielle, I spoke my peace with you that summer’s night on Zack’s trampoline. Allie, if you still think Armando was legitimately choking you that day in Ackley’s then you quite simply were not mature enough for me.
Either way, 2010 started off in the greatest contrast to last winter with me being quite simply in love. We cannot help such things from interrupting our daily boring routines, but we can help to embrace it whenever it does happen; enriching our lives with warmth, affection, and understanding. Love is something no human being can live without so when you find it please for the love of God, don’t let it go. You may not get a second chance. I am very happy to say that Jaynee has become that factor in my life right now. With her I feel a foundation, from which I can achieve anything because she is also my safety net. From now on I can have low points in my life while still knowing things could be worse off; I could be without her.
When the second hand ticked into the New Year, I must say that there was still one thing missing. Since last October I have been without a job. Now, while I got by the first semester off of my parents that’s just it- I got by. With my girlfriend working two jobs and me unable to finance my ultimate acting career feelings of inadequacy slowly crept into my psyche. I went to an audition at Universal knowing that that was a long shot and as it turned out I didn’t get a callback. But that was OK because just as things seemed really low, my friend Zack sends me a message right out of the blue letting me know that I have a position at Outback if I’m interested. It seemed like a miracle, and I am fortunate enough to say that I was in fact hired as a busboy at the St. Cloud Outback. Sure there are some kinks to work out with my schedule but the rewards of a car, headshots, and the pure and honest satisfaction of simply working make the sacrifices worthwhile.
In closing, the year 2010 has started have generally positive. However, in light of recent setbacks to my family I have realized that in order to lesson the burden on my parents it is necessary to become as independent I can as quickly as I can. They will always be there for me and vice versa, but for now I know they’d be better off not having to pay for another person in the household. For that reason I need a job, a car, good credit, an apartment, and everything else I need to become a fully functioning adult as soon as possible. I mean, I am nearly 19 after all. I think it’s about time I started really living in the real world on my own.
Good night everybody, I love and pray for all. For at the end of the day, I live it for my friends, girlfriend, and family; but in doing so I live it for myself.