Sam

We  meet our protagonist, DAN, as he sits shifty and nervously across the desk from several powerful movie studio executives. They are reading through a script he has given them. Finally after much silence, the head boss sitting down, announces.

HEAD BOSS

It’s a piece of shit.

DAN

But-

HEAD BOSS

I SAID… it’s garbage. Rewrite it or take it to Universal, they’ll produce anything these days.

Dan is speechless and powerless. He slowly gets out of his chair and retreats out of the room. When he gets to the door, however, he turns and with an unusual gust of bravery, speakes his mind.

DAN

Mr. Boss, to be frank, this is a straight up detective movie. Film Noir at its most refined. Now I’m not proclaiming it’s a masterpiece or even an Oscar winner, which would be a one reason for your rejection, but sir, how does the man who attaches his name to “The Bumblee Stampede” even remotely thinks this script is anything but worthy. For… for… years I have labored at the keyboard to bring this to you at your very own…. commision! The plot is simple yet compelling, I’ve infused action and wit on an “Iron Man” level, for Christ sake the part was written for Matt Damon and…. and.. the girls ride motorcycles! So may I ask what is wrong with this movie!??

The room is deathly silent. The standing producers are at a loss for words. The Big Boss stands now, seemingly dwarfing Dan with his presence, and throws the script on the floor. It lands on the first page of dialogue and we see that the hero’s name is “SAM EAGLE.” Dan doesn’t get it and the Big Boss explodes.

BIG BOSS

Is this a fucking joke! Some screenwriter’s idea of a making a fool of me?? SAM FUCKING EAGLE??? Get your sorry, no good, ego-ridden, Yale-wasted, puny shit-for-brains asshole out of my office before I make you choke on this.

Dan is gone in a hurry, leaving the script on the floor. The Big Boss picks it up and hands it to another producer.

BIG BOSS

Call Disney and sell it to them. I’d like to see Sam Eagle in this actually.

THE END

 

 

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