Last night I had some weird dreams:
1.) I had a dream that I went a premiere of some movie I was in, only to find Jaynee and her mom, dad, and brother sitting among the (small) audience. I acted nonchalantly and greeted them with a big “hi!” It was clear they were to be ruled by awkward, compulsory, pleasantries. But someone else was there too, and that was Diana. Then the dream shifted and Diana was sitting in a car with me talking to her from outside the door. I could tell that she was clearly upset over something and that I should stay. But I really couldn’t. I had somewhere to be so I made the choice to leave saying, “goodnight”, but knowing I had just hurt her even more (this scenario happened all too often with Jaynee and is still an anxiety I feel with women.)
What does this dream mean? Well, I think I can interpret so much from this. Obviously Diana’s place in my life has been a major focus on my subconscious as of late. What will she become? As for Jaynee, maybe she is thinking of me at this moment and where I am and what I’m doing and maybe, just maybe she will be seeing my in a movie one day. I think she wishes the best for me… the same as I do for her, really. We may never admit that to each other, but it’s true.
2.) I had a dream that my old house at Idora was overrun by rattlesnakes, both big and small. My cat TJ had been bitten and was dying and I was doing my absolute hardest to kill them all, all the while trying to avoid their bites. I was smashing, stepping, and hitting them and the whole time Max was there and wouldn’t help me. I mean, I was screaming at him and he wouldn’t help. So much grief, frustration, panic, and desperation were pouring out of me. I couldn’t even find the number to animal control on the fridge! And the snakes kept coming from bedsheets, bathrooms, wherever.
What does this dream mean? Well, because it was such a vivid animalistic dream, I knew there had to be interpretations out there so I googled “rattlesnakes in dreams” and found a bunch of stuff. What struck me as relevant was the interpretation of them being symbolic of grappling with the future. And since they were aggressive, being in mental turmoil- especially at your work. Of course my recent turmoil has been all about next year- where to live, how to work- and dealing with Hal and trying to put out the fire currently engulfing my bridge. On that front, I feel the fire is getting smaller, but apparently not fast enough to stave off the hoard of rattlesnakes.