DISCLAIMER: This whole thing is based on a dream a had. That was two years ago! Whu!? *1/23/16
-The show is about a government conspiracy involving dinosaurs and the exiled President that hides in a prison mental ward, forming a team of super heores to take back the country.
-Starlord (a secret agent), the Ward (his gf and another agent), Ben from LOST (has telepathy and can control the Rex), a fast guy with a bike, and a mysterious girl are the team.
-The President, First Lady, Starlord, and Secretary of the Treasury were having a fun night discussing why JP 4 had been canceled. Starlord, “The government conspirist in me is ticking.” He can see the Geletic Universe- a bunch of info and pictures that pre-dates the Big Bang and explains this to the group. A noise is then heard and they all pull their guns. Nothing. Back to chatter when another is heard and now they all split up. The First Lady walks into a room to discover that one of her daughters has been dismbebered and strewn about the room. She screams and is also killed. The President meanwhile is upstairs while Starlord is downstairs with the Secretary. The Secretary shoots him in the shoulder. The president confronts this but when his other daughter walks in and is killed, he has no choice but to flee. He manages to escape and finds cover by committing himself to a mental ward at a prison. Not before he breaks into a pawn shop, however, and tries to rob it to get some money. (No, the door is left ajar- he’s the president not a common crook)
-At first, the President keeps to himself but is eventually confronted by The Warden who obviously knows and uses the pawn shop incident to blackmail him into confession.
-While there he befriends Star Lord, the Warden, and some other really fast guy on a bike. Being the inclusive man that he is, he invites another to hang out. A quiet man, when asked what he can do, declares, “I can control your Rex.” “Like, the Tyranasaurus.” “Your Rex.”
-This group now sits together at lunch and the other tables start getting jealous. They want to know how they can join this group (“Who’s your eighth?”) The President says that you need to be able to do something completely unique and bring something worthwhile. A girl says, “Like a super power.” The President says yes and knows he has found his sixth person.
Jeans, socks, shirt, shirt, sweater, jacket, hat.
Open door. Trudge. Slip/ catch. Grumble.
What’s that? Over there. Is that a…?
It’s orange. It’s round. It’s an orange on the ground. In the snow?
In the street.
It’s ripe. It’s good. There’s another and another and one more.
What the hell?
Where am I? I’m in Minnesota. It’s 26 degrees and I’m holding a fruit of the womb.
A fruit of the homeland, taken for granted, now held sacred. And close.
Out of place, lost, and freezing to death. It came from a truck, I came from a plane.
We’ve traveled far, together we’re here, missing that southern land that bore us from the sand. So far away. So warm.
An orange in the snow is a frog in a pot on a stove. Comfortably numb, painfully unawares. It must be saved by someone who knows, who cares.
Four summers ago I went to a Rays game and met you in the gift shop. You were just there, amidst all the others, not really doing anything except catching my eye. And I loved you. I loved the way you managed to both keep me warm and cool. I loved our travels. The first was our trip to Tennessee and I remember it was the first time you had ever seen snow! On top of a mountain, no less- That was a time you kept me warm. Another was on our road trip to New York and remember we stopped in D.C. for a day and I was just pouring sweat all over you, it was so fucking hot? I’m sorry about that, but hey, that was a time you kept me cool. Yeah. From the swamps back home to the… rivers of Minnesota. Where I lost you. Where I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye because in the frenzy, I wasn’t thinking about you. But I did try to find you, hoping you would pop up like a cork, the way our kayak did. But no… you were a hat. And hats don’t float.
Rest in peace, hat, and I’ll find comfort in knowing you went down on just another adventure.
Sharknami: The Musical? Music and Lyrics by John DeLisa and Deirdre Manning
Looking for Fun(Bags)
The Midnight Hour
The Death of Innocence
Dirty White Collars
A Ghoul’s Accountant
The Greatest American
Our Great Declaration by Aileen Fisher and adapted with Armando Rivera
Relationship Saga: Jay & Julia, Looking for Fun(Bags)
Hatchin’ a Cuckoo: Lasagna P.D.; The Captain: A Tale of the Utmost Science Fiction; U.S. Grant and Lincoln Log; Dashwood and Dillon Have an Incredible Edible Taco Burrito Day on the Fourth of July;
You Don’t Have to Look Away; or, Tear Gas: A Play
The Horror of Blackwater Swamp with Max Hannam
“DreamLands” Episode 2
A Ghoul’s Accountant
Waiting at the Corner
This is a little exchange that I decided to cut from my latest ten minute play about two clowns seeking revenge on the world for losing it’s imagination.
They went with a magician.
What’d you do?
Shot him in the face.
Not with one of these though.
Referencing their choo-choo train bazookas.
You should’ve let me open it earlier!
But today was such a nice surprise.
Yeah, but I would’ve got David Copperfield in one clean shot with one these.
Did he shoot back with his wand?
Shut the fuck up!
But he’s definitley gone now?
And now Matthew gets a clown. His clown.
A man, JAKE, is mowing his yard. Another man, CHARLIE, parks a car across the street and walks over to him. It is a long walk. Finally Charlie reaches Jake, who cuts the mower. Charlie needs to say something but his having trouble.
JAKE: Mornin’ Charlie.
CHARLIE: Something’s happened.
JAKE: That’s not true.
CHARLIE: The committee voted last night.
JAKE: I know.
CHARLIE: Something’s happened.
JAKE: Charlie, nothing happens in this town, no matter how many votes there are.
CHARLIE: We’re in trouble.
JAKE: Go home. We’ll talk Saturday.
CHARLIE: It’ll be over by then! You’ll be finished.
JAKE: I need to get this done before it get’s too hot.
Charlie is about to argue more but knows Jake too well. He turns and walks away dejected and angry. Before he gets into his car he turns and yells back.
CHARLIE: I warned you not to do it! We’ve all lost because of you!
Charlie’s voice is then drowned out by Jake starting up the mower again.