The Most: 4

The sun was unseasonably warm that day. It was early February but January’s snow was long gone. As Daniel ambled his way across the street he wondered if the ice on the lake was still thick enough for a pick-up game of hockey.

HONK! The Grand Cherokee’s tires screeched almost simultaneously as Chris yanked hard on Daniel’s collar, saving him from the oncoming vehicle. The driver was yelling unintelligibly, probably some choice words, but Daniel’s head had not quite cleared from the night before.

“What the the matter with you, dude?” Chris was as upset as the driver and Daniel registered this. He thought, what the matter with you, dude.

But “I don’t know” was all he could muster. He felt the sun’s rays sapping what little energy he had. “Let’s just get some food in us.”

The two men walked into a diner, greeted by the clanging of a bell. The restaurant was small and dingy but it would suit their needs. A couple of patrons turned their heads and watched the men make a bee-line for a booth in the back. Not a moment passed before they were scouring the scant menus for what would be the most bang for their bucks.

A rotund waitress materialized, as greasy as the pans on the fryer.

“Mornin'”, she said with Minnesotan drawl.
“Hi there!” Chris shot back. Why the hell is he so cheery today? My heeeeaaaddd….
“Your friend got a problem?”
Chris quizzically nudged Daniel.
“Don’t be rude.”
“I’ll have the egg-in-a-boat” He paused. “Thank you”.

The waitress shuffled off and Daniel was awake enough to notice how she lumbered more than walked. Chris, to his credit, had a dopey smile plastered on his face and the way his red hair was mussed, it made him look like a ventriloquist dummy. Daniel couldn’t take it anymore.

“Okay, man, what’s up? I know you matched me shot for shot so why are you a superman this morning?”
Chris giggled. “I did it.”
Daniel had no clue. In fact, he couldn’t remember a single damn thing from last night. It took a minute for Chris to read his mind and blurt out, “The blondes! Both of them at the same time!”

Daniel felt a sense of immature wonder welling up inside him as he smiled for the first time that day. He couldn’t help it. Chris had been dreaming of such a feat since they first met in their dorm room three years ago.

Daniel raised his cup of coffee in a stately salute and downed the hot liquid, feeling the last vestiges of alcohol evaporate from his system.

Suddenly the waitress returned, crashing their plates of food in front of them. The men’s attention was now solely on digging in but the waitress was patient and stood calmy until Daniel and Chris grew cognoscente of the tension.

“Thank you.” “Thanks a lot.”
“You’re welcome.” She seemed pleased. “You boys from here?”

The boys glanced at each other.

Chris sensed that this was his show and volunteered. “No ma’am, we’re from the University of West Virginia, here for a hockey tournament.”

“How wonderful!” She exclaimed.

The waitress still stood at attention, glowing. Daniel suddenly felt uncomfortable. Why is she looking at Chris that way? She’s like, old and nasty.

After another couple of questions the waitress hefted her enormous frame to the kitchen. Chris set upon his patty melt like a starved animal, getting grease all over his face and hands. He was still beaming from the night’s lustful conquest. He slurped a coke.

Daniel broke the news to him: “I think the waitress is in to you.”
Chris looked back at the kitchen. “It’s all good with me, I’m on a roll. Speaking of which.”

He reached over with a freckled hand and snatched up a roll of bread on Daniel’s plate, correctly calculating that Daniel was too exhausted to defend it. All Daniel could do was look at Chris in bewildered amazement.

Unbeknownst to the strapping young hockey players, the waitress stood back in the kitchen looking at them through the window. Silently, she gazed, the way a lion might look upon a herd of buffalo. Intent but patient. Clang! The door bell clamored and her fixed stare was broken. Pleasantly she greeted the newcomers but not once did she dare let the men in the back booth leave her sight.



The Most: 3

Screaming filled the room for the next forty-five minutes, with groans and cackles thrown in for good measure. Daniel never looked, never so much as peeped through is eyelids, but it did not matter. He was sure his imagination was far worse than the reality of Chris’s fate.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, the screams softened and the groans became whimpers. The torture was over.

The room remained silent, however, as Daniel slowly opened his eyes. Standing with her back still towards him was the beast. The woman who had abducted him and Chris all those nights ago and was now using them for her own sick pleasure. What is she doing? raced through Daniel’s mind as He was watching her fat, hulking frame contort itself over his friend. What the hell is she doing?? He wanted to scream, to ask her out loud but he knew it would remain unanswered. All he got for his questions was another cut somewhere on his body and depending on the questions the cuts got deeper.

Daniel sat there, tied up in his chair, and silently watched as the woman retreated from Chris. Daniel shuddered as he beheld the near-lifeless mass that was his best friend, now ravaged and torn apart so that made him almost unrecognizable. Daniel couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“What the fuck did you do him?”

She turned and Daniel threw up, he couldn’t help it. The woman faced him now with blood down her naked front, between her legs. Looking up, past her absurdly large tits he saw bits of meat and dried blood encrusted on her stupid face. The hair was long but matted to her shoulders with gore. She smiled at him. A dumb, almost goofy smile that burst with carnage as she produced a knife.

“No, please, I just want to know what you’re doing to him!

The beast took a heavy step towards him.

“Just one question.”



All it took was three steps and the woman was now slicing and dicing Daniel’s upper thighs. He closed his eyes again and could only imagine what she was doing to him.


Love Under Fire: A Short Story

Love Under Fire:

(My High School American Government Teacher was a Communist)

A Short Story of Suspense, True Love, and International Espionage


Vincent S. Hannam


    It all started my senior year at Ulysses S. Grant High School in a little town in Illinois called Bishopville, about an hour from Chicago. Ever hear of it? I doubt you have. With a mere 200 people, it is not that memorable. However, I will tell you this; that there was a brief moment in history when Bishopville was the center of the country. That’s right; it did involve an assassination plot, foiled by yours truly and his friends. Just who was to be assassinated will be explained in good time. As for now just relax with a root beer and a blanket as I, Steven Wakefield, plunge you into an event so far-fetched that I myself could never imagine it happening. Nevertheless, it did.

August 25, 2004, my senior year at Ulysses S. Grant High School officially began. I had just moved to Bishopville from Savannah, Georgia and my first day at USGHS began not as I expected it to. As soon as I got to school I was instantly lost. Finally I was able to reach my first period class and, boy, was I in for a shocker. My “American Government” teacher was actually German and with a real heavy accent. You know, he pronounced his “w’s” as “v’s” and his “th’s” as “z’s”.

As soon as the bell rang Mr. Krueger began calling role and I immediately began my first impressions of my classmates. It kind of went something like this: “Byron Zeret!” (His actual name is Brian Theret.) Compulsively, I associated him with one word: nerd. He was a bit on the large side with glasses and Mr. Krueger just loved his blond hair and blue eyes. Next, was Donald Blake. Now Donny was not your typical run-of-the-mill kind of guy. For one thing, I seriously thought that he was in danger of being consumed by Brian he was that little. He was small and scrawny with a wide face and large ears. Unfortunately, for him his Polish ancestry didn‘t help in that class. After Donny “Villiam Romanovski!” was called upon by Mr. Krueger. Now when I saw William (or Billy as he preferred) I really got scared. I mean Billy looked as if he had just been released from a Soviet KGB training camp and he always spoke as if he was behind a podium. Despite his dark Crimean complexion, his love for the military shot him to the top of the class. Anyways, this cycle of name-calling and judgments went on until the last name was called.

It was only two minutes after Mr. Krueger yelled that last and heavenly name that I finally realized that I had been drooling and letting out a continuous AAAAWWW, which just so happened to be the initials of that name- Alicia Wilkins, the girl to whom I first experienced love at first site. She was perfect in everyway. She had beautiful brown hair and her hazel eyes were enough to stop time itself. Alicia was about my height and to top it all off she was even looking at me. Now, whether she was looking at me or me losing pints of saliva I’m not sure but I was love struck and I didn‘t care. The only thing in my mind was how in the world I was going to talk to her. But alas, love was not in the cards for me that day nor would it be for the next five months, for there were more pressing matters at hand.

Over the next few weeks, I forged a friendship with Brian and Donny. However, Billy was still an enigma to everybody, only conversing with Mr. Krueger. The guys and I would see them periodically laughing and pointing at who we could only assume was Donny. Donny was very proud of his Polish lineage but his brown eyes and hair made him an unfair target of criticism and mockery.

Brian, Donny, and I also began to notice an unsettling pattern in Mr. Krueger’s lessons and to make things more complicated I was trying very unsuccessfully to court the girl of my dreams. By this time, it was January and I was getting quite desperate. All my other friends had girlfriends and they kept telling me that I had no chance with her and that I should move on. “But why?” I demanded. Then my friend Chris Romano told me the painfully obvious one day at lunch.

One, for the five months that I had known her I had only managed one or two feeble “hi’s”. Second, I only thought that she liked me because of that one time she glanced in my direction the first day of school. Finally, the only time I ever saw her was during American Government class.

I hated the idea of giving up on her even though I did have my pick of a few other decently attractive girls who I knew liked me. For instance, there was this girl in my culinary class named Lindsay Schultz. She was hot but a real airhead and slut. I mean, for God’s sake she went by the name Cupcake and added glitter to her apple pie because, quote: “It looks pretty.” It was also obvious, to my dismay, that she absolutely adored me. With all this going on it was getting very hard to concentrate on my objective: wooing Alicia. I’m sorry who wants to hear me complain, right? Let us talk about American Government, shan’t we?

So, the supposed “American Government” class began to look more and more like a Soviet Government class and our teacher began to morph into Vladimir Illych Ulyanov or for those uneducated souls reading this, Lenin. Also discomforting was that Billy began to bear a striking resemblance to Leo Trotsky and indeed the two acted as if they were old school chums.

Despite all this there was a bright side. The approaching weekend was a long one since it was Martin Luther King Jr. Day. However, one must go through agony to acquire bliss and the week leading up to it went something like the following. Monday started with a rather inconspicuous lecture on Mao Zedong followed by one on Josef Stalin the next day. Wednesday was early day so we had a debate on whether or not the Israeli government would be able to defend itself against a military coup d’état. On Thursday we read a magazine article entitled “Fidel Castro and Kim Jong Ill: Possible Allies?” and on Friday we finally did five minutes of work on the Constitution compared to 55 minutes on Benito Mussolini and the Big Cheese himself, Adolf Hitler. Not to mention, that over the weekend we had to read the Communist Manifesto. Now, can you believe that this actually worked out for me in the end? Mr. Krueger paired us up to do work and I wound up with, that’s right, you guessed it, Alicia Wilkins. Instinctively, I tried to act suave and irresistible while in reality I was wetting myself.

To my surprise and utter delight she turned out to be everything I expected. I could sense a great chemistry between us and instead of researching Hitler; we ended up just getting to know each other. That night I called her and before I knew it, I blurted out “Do you want to go to the city with me this weekend?” After an excruciating five seconds she tentatively replied “sure”.

It was now Friday and Mr. Krueger announced to the class that he would be absent the following week. When I asked him why he coldly stated, “Mr. Vakefield, zat is none of your business.” Naturally, I did not question him any further, and besides that, I wanted to concentrate on my weekend excursion into the city with Alicia the next day. We were planning to visit the museums, maybe catch a ballgame, go to the park, blah, blah, blah.

The next morning, Saturday, I awoke feeling like a million bucks. Nothing was going to ruin this day. I promptly got dressed, picked up Alicia, and we were on our way. Fifteen minutes from Chicago I got a call from Brian. When I answered, I could immediately sense urgency in his tone. “Steve, Mr. Krueger is flying to Israel to assassinate Ariel Sharon!” he stammered with great anxiety. “Who?” I asked. “The Prime Minister of Israel!” (Like I said before, nerd.) “Are you kidding me?” I yelled angrily. I could not believe that he was interrupting the best day of my life and to make matters worse, while I’m arguing with him I’m trying to concentrate on the highway with Alicia  paralyzed with fear from my reckless driving. “Believe me! Yesterday I broke into his desk and found a plane ticket to Jerusalem along with a picture of Sharon and a letter from the Lebanese government!”

Now, Brian is a trustworthy guy so despite myself I believed him. “When is he leaving?” “Twenty minutes. Donny and I are already here. Oh yeah, also, Billy was only friendly with Krueger to know his plans so he‘s here too. Hurry!” Hmm, I guess Mr. Romanovski really was an ex-KGB agent. “Okay, I’m coming!” And like that my plans changed and I was on my way to the airport.

When Alicia and I finally got there, the place was in chaos. My friends and a swat team were there and Mr. Krueger was in a corner brandishing an antique World War One Luger. We ran into the lobby to help and before I knew it, there was a gunshot, screams, and Alicia was on the floor. The next five minutes happened so slowly that I still painfully remember every second of it. I rushed to her and clutched her with not only my arms but also my entire heart and soul until the Jaws of Life was needed to separate us. As the paramedics came and took her away I prayed, as I had never done before. Soon after that, two police officers carried me out of the building and I went straight to the hospital to be with Alicia.

It was not until that night when I was sitting with Alicia in her hospital room that I learned the fate of Mr. Krueger on the nightly news. Moments after I had left the F.B.I. subdued Victor Krueger with a barrage of tear gas. Fortunately, nobody else was hurt since Mr. Krueger had spent his last round on Alicia. Also, as it turns out, Travis Schroeder, a.k.a. William Romanovski was an agent for, no, not Russia, but the F.B.I. The Feds had actually been on to Mr. Krueger since the beginning and Billy was the inside man.

As I sat there, taking all this in my mind went to Alicia, lying beside me. Thankfully, the Luger’s bullet had passed non-life-threateningly through her shoulder and she would be okay. As for the moment she was sleeping, silently recuperating, and I promised her that I was never going to leave her side.

The End

Universal Studios

Original Date: February 15, 2001

Style: Non-Fiction

Score (1-5): 5/ 94 A

One day me and my family went to Universal Studios it was one of the most exciting days I ever had.

“Mom mom!” “lets go!” we yelled. “Okay” our mom said. “Where do you want to go first”. “To the new Men in Black ride” me and my brother asked as we started dragging our mom off toward the ride. When we went in side it was crammed full of peaple. “Guess they wanted to come to I mumbled to myself. When we were next in line we still couldent get on because of technickel difficultys. When we did get on me and my brother started blasting aliens with the fake guns they gave us.

After that we went to the Back to the Future. It’s sort of like a 3D thing. There’s a guy named Butch he locks the doctor in the closet and he steals the time machine. The doc then lets us borrow his spare then we have to go back in time to find Butch and stop him.

The final thing we did was go to Jaws the ride. Your on a boat and the captain calls to another captain but he doesent ansewer so we go looking for him we found his boat half sunk! Then an eerrie feeling rushed over my body. Then out of nowhere the terror of the deep pops out of the water then “Bang!” The captain fires his rifle Jaws was dead.

That was my exciting day at Universal Studios. Hope I see you there soon.

Do You Have a Favorite Place?

Original Date: October, 2000

Style: Non-Fiction

Score (1-5): 4/ 88 B

Do you have a favorite place? I do it’s my backyard why? because I can play around, play with my dogs, and watch birds.

The first reason I like my backyard is because I can play around. Win I’m outside I race my brother and cousin. Once we had a Olympics and we raced I won but my brother always wanted a remach but I kept beating him. I also play football sometimes. Once win I was quarterback my brother kept sacking me. I think footballsawesome because it’s fun. I also like to play army. Me my brother and cousin pretend we are fighting monsters are tree house is base.

I like my backyard is because I can play with my dogs iny time I want. Once we were playing Indians my two dogs were buffalo. We pretend to shoot them with arrows. I also like my dogs because we play fetch. We throw balls and bones. One of my dogs fetch’s the ball but doesent come back. I also like my dogs because we play chase the dog. To play some neighbor has to turn on the lawn mower then he runs and barks at it when we chase him.

The finall reason my backyard is awesome in because I can watch beautiful birds. When my mom feeds the birds I see Blue Jays, Cardinals, and Robins. One I saw bird of prey stalky my pet ducks. I think it was a Perigone Falcone witch can go 200 mph. I also like watching the woodpecker that lives in my tree. I watch all these birds from my treehouse.

In conclusion, I think my backyard is awesome because. I can play around, play with my dogs, and to watch birds. I really think that a backyard is a kids dream come true.


Goals of a Child

Original Date: January 9, 2001

Style: Non-Fiction

Score (1-5): 3/82 C

Everyone set a goal atleast once in there life. These are some goals I’ve set. Getting strait A’s on my report card, improve at baseball, and to get over 200 baseball cards.

The first way I’m gonna get strait A’s is to improve at writing. Because I always get a B on writing. So if I improve at writing I’m an all A student. So that’s my first goal.

The second goal I’m trying to set is to improve at baseball. I can bat, throw, and run. but I have to improve at catching. I can catch but not very well. So I’m gonna have to practice catching to achiev my second goal.

The final goal I’m tring to set is to get over 200 baseball cards. I all ready have one hundred and something. And I have some good cards. Like Marc Mcgwire and Ken Griffy Jr.

Therefore you no my goals I’m trying to set. Get all A’s on report cards, improve at baseball and to collect over 200 baseball cards.


Christmas Day

Original Date: January 5, 2001

Style: Non-Fiction

Score (1-5): 4/ 88 B

On Christmas Vacation came Christmas day. My favorite holliday. Me, my brother, my mom, and dad all got neat stuff for Christmas.

“Max!” “Max”! I whisperd to my brother to wake up. Finally what seemed like hours he woke up. We went into the living room we saw two big bikes! “I got a Mongoose bike” I said in a quivery voice then we raced into are parents room yelling “get up”! When they did me and brother raced back to the tree. Tore open presents as quick as a lizard.

After all the presents were unwrap me and my brother took are bikes out side and rode them like we were pros. Then we started playing with all are toys. Me and my brother played with the walkie talkie’s we each got. And we played with the of are other toys too.

Then it was dinner a whole bunch of company came. But really is just four people my aunt, two of my cousins, and my dad’s friend. Just before dinner my brother went to the bathroom while he was gone my dad’s friend took a sip out of my brothers eggnog. We had turkey, corn, stuffing, green beans, carrots and some more stuff. After we were done we rode are bike’s some more. And went to bed.

That was one of the very best Christmas’s next year I hope it’s even better for me and you and keeps on getting better and better.